Watching someone else's grandkids squealing as Santa appears out the living room window was hard. It was supposed to be me in that suit but the fit was just too tight and we had to call in a quick substitute. I'm not sure it would have been any easier behind the fake beard. All night long my thoughts were of what Cullen would be doing if he were there. Running endlessly around the island chasing cousins, giggling until they all ended in a pile. Shyly taking his present from Santa but not quite trusting him. Or sneaking one more cookie while everybody was watching.
I just have to keep reminding myself that it is what it is. They are out there because that's where the work is and their lives are so much better for it.
Yeah, but it still sucks sometimes. Merry Christmas.
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