Thursday, April 24, 2014

150 Words

Bicycling magazine was running a contest where a parody of one of the writers was required to win a $5000 bike. I entered three times and just finished another submission when I discovered that the contest closed. I never realized how few 150 words really is. Editing the entries became a learning experience. From now on I plan to keep my posts to that max whenever possible. Here's the one that never made it.

There are two types of bike shops. On one hand you have an old school shop which has more bikes on the floor than floorspace. A game of dominoes can result if some ADD 5 year old evades his inattentive parent. The staff is an odd mix of young and old, roadies and downhillers, lean and overfed. They will gladly pump your tire as you sip a free cup, listen to the story of your tour or put your rump on any bike under their roof. They have what you need and will launch a search party immediately.


On the floor of the other shop, five bikes sit inches off the ground under spotlights and “don’t touch” signs, as if the glare of the uniformed staff aren’t enough. Air and advice are never free, coffee is $5 and the part you need is stocked but time to bother is not.  

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Just Don't Think About It

Three days after God's Zamboni did its thing on the landscape I'm 15 minutes late leaving for work. A light dusting of snow has added camouflage to the layer of ice I am walking on. About 5 minutes in the thought that I haven't fallen during a walk to work all winter pushes past David Gilmour's guitar and into my head. And my next thought is that whenever I have one of those personal streak revealing discoveries, it all goes wrong shortly after.  

I haven't missed the fairway all day, followed shortly by a beautiful banana shaped shot that finds the deepest part of a river on the edge of the next fairway.

I haven't had a flat all ssssssssssssssummer.

One hundred yards from the front door and that thought had left my conscious brain and went right over to the section that controls the mobility department. Down I went, fortunately landing on my hands and knees but in front of three guys out for their morning smoke. David Gilmour in the headphones drowned out any snickers but I could feel the eyes on me.  

This must be what separates the true 'ice in the veins' athletes from the rest of us. That and a heaping dose of physical abilities and dedication.