Missing

I miss the long drive across the heart of Canada, getting up in the middle of the night in search of an 18 wheeler to lead me through the darkness.
I miss sunrise on the prairie, the way you can see 20 miles in any direction from bright yellow fields to the bruised sky of an approaching storm.
I miss holding hands and talking for hours as much as the gentle quiet hours shared.
I miss looking out the rear mirror and seeing a bike I know I will get to explore with.
I miss stopping at Timmy's for a cup in Regina or Medicine Hat or Winnipeg or Dryden. All honestly, those 'ors' should all be 'ands'.
I miss Calgary. It's big city feel and the old west all wrapped in one.
I miss knowing the Rockies are right there waiting on the horizon.
I miss the drive through the foothills, watching the mountains steadily grow in the windshield.
I miss Moraine Lake and the Valley of Ten Peaks where I could just sit and watch years pass by.

I miss the shrieks of 'papa!' from two little boys that make every mile of the long drive worthwhile.

I miss walks and bike rides to the park, red, green or purple. I miss pushing two giggling boys on the swings and listening to their laughter.
I miss the pitter patter of the giants who live in the house above us.
I miss nights around the fire with family close by.

First Time at the Plate

He stood at the plate for the first time that mattered, the first time it wasn’t just him and dad in the backyard where failure was a secret between them. His little fingers squeezed the bat with the strength of his nervous energy. All around him was a fuzzy haze filled with players of the opposing team, coaches and parents. All just a blur. His focus was narrow and aimed at the hand that held the ball he wanted desperately to hit.

The first pitch dropped out of the sky and landed on the plate, unhittable. But he swung anyway. His eyes had closed as the ball got close.

He checked his feet and got set again. Another lobbed pitch. He lunged forward to try and reach as he took another big swing, missing by a foot. He just wanted to see one like dad threw, over the plate not on it. But he didn’t have the experience to know he didn’t have to swing every time. 

“Watch the ball all the way, wait for one you like” he heard his dad say over the din of the crowded diamond. He fought off the urge to swing at the next one as it bounced at his feet again. Adults met on the mound and talked a bit, then laughed. He was sure they were talking about him and his fingers gripped the bat just a little tighter. He was fighting back tears now.

And then he saw what he wanted, a ball that flew flatter than the others. He pulled his hands back and swung the bat hard. As the ball met aluminum he felt and heard the ‘plink’ as the ball flew back the way it had come.

“Run, run, run,” the crowd started yelling. He froze for a second not remembering what came after hitting the ball, he never ran in the backyard, just hit ball after ball. Then it came to him in a flash as everyone around him got louder. He bent over and gently placed the bat on the ground and started running to the base as fast as his six year old legs would carry him. His tiny strides carried him safely to the bag for the first time. He stopped on the base and looked for dad with a big smile. The tears had lost this time. 

video inspiration

Wish I could be there to cheer you on Cullen.

Note: I've been waiting for some big mythical inspiration to hit me and launch into a major writing project for far too long. A good friend told me just to write so when I taste even the smallest morsel of inspiration I'm going to put down some words. And here it begins.

Changes

Changes, there have been a few since I last dropped any words into this blog. In truth a lot of them. There was no time to wait for a dream job to come along. I was lucky to get on board with the biggest and most aggressive parts store when they weren't hiring. A complete dizzying 180 spin from what I experienced for 38 years but after 7 months I'm starting to get comfortable. More customers, more product lines, more co-workers, more of everything. Some days it was all too much but things are getting better.

Sleep has been a precious commodity for those 7 months. I still wake up very early and start thinking and worrying about a variety of things. Some of that is work related, more of it is worrying about the future. Retirement would be great in another 5 years but I just don't think it will be possible. Time will tell I guess.

An old friend told me working with a young crew would make me feel younger and I do...until I get home and start napping at 7pm. Getting back on a bike after 5 plus months with maybe two rides has been a joy. I was sure it would hurt a lot more and that maybe I had lost the drive to get up at 6 and then ride to work but once I got started it was all good. I feel more normal now, the long cool ride in is a pleasure and the ride home is a good time to unwind.

After resigning from scheduling for Lakehead Minor at the end of the season I decided to finish my term, one more year. I was unsharing spreadsheets, started tinkering with them and realized I had created some fairly sophisticated scheduling schemes and didn't want to stop learning and applying. I haven't totally given up trying to find more work with the expanding knowledge.

Parents are already starting to call for registration into Northwood. I'm trying to lay low and hold off until the already announced opening of another season in mid July. We have one more season with our current format and then the new half ice policy will be adopted or we will have to leave the Hockey Canada umbrella.

Not travelling to Calgary has been hard. Good old facebook sends those near daily reminders of pictures posted from the trips of the last 6 years and they are nice to see, but I don't need the constant reminder. Videos of Cullen playing baseball have been fun but we would be there if not for all the changes. Man can he smack that ball around.

click for a hit

Thunder Bay probably did the right thing by not voting PC. Right as long as they didn't win that is. Why does it feel like we are infected by the Trump virus.

RIP Anthony Bourdain, will miss his shows a great deal.

New music this week, Dave Matthews Band - Come Tomorrow. First listen as I write this and I'm really liking what I hear so far.

That's it for now. No promises but I hope to be adding more words soon.

Dodger Cullen Kresack

 

Reluctant Dodger fan Campbell