Why Not Me?

Day 1

The journey I'm on now started with a visit to our family doctor April 23rd. A routine followup for recent blood work. Our doctor is retiring at the end of July and we have been seeing him regularly since the news landed. The only significant element of this visit was a new medication for cholesterol. Who knew a simple little pill could have such an impact.

Within a few days of taking the new medication I started feeling off. Not sick, just not 100%. Then I woke up in the middle of the night itchy in several spots and my urine seemed darker than normal. The itchiness was gone the next morning. I started thinking it must be an adjustment to the medication. I reread the paperwork and saw no mention of allergic reactions. A few days later I felt better but the itchiness was back and dark urine was still a concern. I stopped at the pharmacy May 3rd and talked with the pharmacist who suggested I stop taking the medication, call my doctor and have my liver checked.

May 5th I was at my desk at work, a good friend and co-worker told me I looked jaundiced. That sent a chill through me that has not been matched by any of the news I was to get in the next few days. 

I went home, tried talking to the family doctor but was told to go to the emergency room.  I reluctantly drove to the hospital where I could not find a parking spot anywhere. I called Sally who was adamant that I get checked out and said I'll come back in the morning.

She dropped me off at emergency at 7 am on May 6th. I wouldn't see home for 12 days. Numerous blood tests, an ultra-sound and a cat scan over about 5 hours. I was sitting in the hallway expecting to be home by 3 pm. The doctor that was running my tests came and asked me to follow him to a room where he and an intern had me sit down and then closed the door. He told me they had found a mass on my liver that was causing a blockage. I would be going to Sudbury for surgery and a biopsy within the next 24 hours. Sudbury? 

He didn't outright say what the mass was expected to be but I have watched every season of Grey's Anatomy, I knew this wasn't an allergic reaction to a new medication. Why was I not floored by the very high possibility that I had cancer in a major organ? I can't say but as so many others around me have dealt with cancer I have always questioned my luck. Why has this not happened to me? It's not like I'm taking great care of myself. I'm not on my knees at bed time thanking God for keeping us healthy. 

The doctor asked if I needed a minute alone in the room. No, I'm good. I thanked him and went back to the hallway. I called my sister-in-law and asked her to go to our house so Sally would not be alone when I shared the news. I went outside and made the call. I asked her not to come to the hospital until I got into a room. Our emergency ward is full of the sick and dying, distraught families, police and drug patients, kids throwing tantrums, prisoners in orange jump suits and handcuffs with their guards. It's not a place I could ever work. I really don't know how the doctors, nurses and support staff can go back there every day. 

Just in time for my first hospital meal (that's a story on it's own), I got a bed in the emergency bull pen. About 12 occupied beds where patients wait for a room in the regular wards. Separated by nothing but paper thin curtains I quickly became aware of every ailment in the 6 closest beds. Sally brought me something to eat, some clothes and my cpap machine. After she left I put my cheapest headphones in and tried to drown out the noise. Lights on, lights off, never ending PA announcements, moaning neighbours and the constant coming and going of nurses. Not a great place to take a nap. I slept with music playing and avoided letting my imagination get carried away with the situation.

Sudbury?

New Ways to Pursue an Old Love

I have always loved music. As a teen I would never have dreamed of what is available now. Used to be a visit to a record store meant 'maybe' the purchase of one album. Today I can add as many albums to my streaming account as I want and listen to them as much as I want for about the price of one album per month. And I can carry around that ever growing collection in my pocket.

It seemed so simple. Streaming from YouTube music sounded ok but I kept reading about hi-res streaming and the many advantages. 

I researched a better set of headphones. I wanted the sound that I remember from a set of Toshiba, a very wide sound stage where different instruments can be heard in the various parts of your head. Drums bass and vocals down the middle with guitar mostly on one side and keyboards on the other. Listen to Hotel California on the Eagles Hell Freezes Over album as a great example.

My research brought me to the Philips Fidelio X2HR. Very comfortable and with a very wide sound stage. I found them on Ebay and paid half of the current Amazon price.

I tried a ddHifi DAC (digital audio converter) that plugged into the usb-c port on my phone. A big sarcastic thank you to Apple for starting the trend of dropping headphone jacks. 

I thought I could hear a difference but wasn't sure. I returned the small piece of hardware. I tried another with bluetooth and it failed to provide an uninterrupted stream of music. Returned. I tried another DAC and eventually sold it. DACs serve as both the device that converts the digital signal from the music stream to an analog signal that headphones can turn into music. They can also serve as a headphone amplifier because the phone does not have enough power to provide enough volume on many headphones.

I had given up but after another month and more research I found the answer. It was not the equipment but the source. An Android phone plays everything at the same bitrate, regardless of the external dac.

I purchased a Hidizs DH80s dac/amp with its own battery during a spring sale. I tried a hi-res Qobuz account which requires another app. It worked, I could finally hear the difference but the app was not great. I tried Tidal which recently underwent a price reduction! The app is terrific. It includes artist bios and track credits listing the musicians, engineers and producers. Lyrics, daily suggestions and very up to date. You can have Spotify, it has promised hi-res but not delivered.

Next a set of Hidizs MS3 iems and I was all set for every kind of listening. I'm spending lots of time just listening to music new and old, no distractions, eyes often closed, just listening. I'm trying artists I never would have considered and enjoying more and more of them. If I find a recommendation for an album that is well recorded, I'll give it a spin stream.